Eicks' Totally Genuine Supervillain Diary Entry #4

Dear Totally Genuine Diary,

Today was rough.  It started out pretty good, but things quickly went downhill.

The plan was to test my new robotic murder assistant.  I designated the line D-1R3, built a prototype model based loosely on an animal, and was ready to go.

Naturally I needed someone to really put the little guy through his paces, so while I was breaking into the foundry I let one of the security cameras catch sight of me.  As I suspected DUO was monitoring the feed, and they must have been quick to forward the information, because Foxtrot Three Five showed up not twenty minutes later.  

Fortunately the sound of their drop-pods braking alerted me pretty quickly to their presence, so I set up inside the foundry and waited for them.  My ambush was pretty effective.  I think the presence of so much heat and metal may have thrown their sensors off a bit.

Landed a solid hit on Surge that left a smoking hole in his armor, blew up a transformer on the General and even managed to kick Gauntlet into a pool of slag.  D-1R3 Armadillo got into an exchange of fire with Guessire, but his shields held nicely so he was able to go toe to toe with her.  It was a great start.

Too good to last though.  Apparently Gauntlet was just fine down there, which surprised me somewhat.  I had been pretty sure the molten slag would kill him, but he emerged in good enough shape to shoot me in the back.  I saw him surface but I didn't have time to dodge given my position and speed.  That sucked.

Of course then the General started trying to stab me again.  Having the hole in my back made it substantially harder to dodge, so things weren't looking too good.  I needed an opening, so in desperation I yelled "D-1R3 Armadillo!  Activate nuclear self-destruct, no delay!"  I just wanted to distract them for a second, get them to look away.

Imagine my surprise when they all actually diverted attention to him.  Gauntlet started a scan, Guessire re-doubled her attacks, the General turned and started charging towards my little guy.  I found it all very interesting.

Then Surge ran up and punted poor little D-1R3 Armadillo into orbit.  No literally, used his powers and just kicked it straight up.  Maybe I should have chosen a larger, heavier animal as a model.

Of course I took advantage of their distraction to escape, but it was still kind of a bummer.  My bad day didn't end there though.  Oh no.

I was within sight of my apartment when I realized the whole block was swarming with cops.  Not just local Law Enforcement Officers either.  DUO was everywhere.  Turned out something had induced them to investigate my apartment.

My failsafe worked without a hitch and the entire apartment was atomized.  Along with all my stuff.  My shower.  My bed.  My refrigerator.  My computer.  No Forever Empire playing tonight.  No place to live or eat or sleep either.  I'm currently homeless.

Oh, and insult to injury, Overshield sent a shuttle to go pick up the D-1R3 Armadillo, so I had to order it to self-destruct.  It didn't really have an atomic bomb in it, but it managed to blow itself to smithereens well enough anyway, so they won't learn anything from it.

Still.  No home, no robot friend, nothing to do.  It's going to be a long, cold night.

Kind of night makes me wish I had a secret underwater lair or a moonbase or something.  I don't know how some of the other villains pull that shit off though.  Not the technical aspects, those are simple enough.  But what do you do about groceries and such?

I guess they have minions for that.  But how do you keep them from giving away the location of your secret base?  Most minions have criminal records, so LEOs and DUO personnel have to be keeping an eye on some of them.  Besides, I've heard that criminal types have a propensity for drinking to excess, which is not conducive to the keeping of secrets.

There must be a trick to it.  Sometimes I wish I was a people person.  

Anyway diary, it's been a long day, and it's going to be a long night.  Thanks for listening.